Married in 1952,  the O’Connor’s were a well known Washington couple who enjoyed the social scene there.  After Sandra Day O’Connor was confirmed as the first woman to sit on the Supreme court in 1981, the duo moved  to Arizona where they remained until his death.

Judge O’Connor retired from the US Supreme  Court in 2005 to take care of her ailing husband.

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Caring for an elder can be a tough road to hoe. The once sharp, active, outgoing father or mother becomes the victim of time and disease, such as Alzheimer’s disease or dementia, or suffers a fracture of the hip that leaves an elderly person bedridden and wholly dependent upon others to fulfill even their most basic needs. After the elderly person is no longer able to live on his or her own, an adult child often steps up to the plate and moves the elderly parent in with his or her family, rather than moving the elder parent to a nursing home or assisted living facility, fearing the elder will not be cared for properly in a facility.

However, as time goes by and the elder’s physical and mental conditions deteriorate more and more, putting a greater burden on the adult child, elder abuse can occur. The adult child may, for example, place a confused or demanding elder with severe dementia in isolation for hours on end to punish the elder for not complying with the adult child’s requests and orders.

Elder abuse can take many forms. It may be physical abuse, such as the use of force to threaten or physically injure a vulnerable elder if he or she won’t be quiet. It may even be sexual abuse. The abuse may be emotional, such as verbally attacking the elder, threatening the elder, isolating the elder, or belittling the elder. Emotional abuse is almost anything that could deliberately cause mental anguish, pain, or distress to the elder.

Other types of elder abuse include exploitation of the elder by theft, fraud, misuse or neglect of authority, or the use of “undue influence” as a means to control an elderly person’s money or property. For instance, a caregiver taking care of an elderly person in the elder person’s home may threaten to abandon the elderly person, who is solely or mainly dependent upon the caregiver for all of his or her basic needs, unless the elderly person writes a new will giving everything to the caregiver. Elder abuse may take the form of neglect, where the caregiver fails or refuses to provide for the vulnerable elder’s safety or physical or emotional needs.

Abusers and potential abusers of the elderly should realize that one day the roles will be reversed, as they become infirm and will be dependent on others for their physical and emotional health and managing their finances. Elder abuse, neglect, and financial exploitation are crimes that should be reported immediately to the local police department or the adult protective services. Most states have a toll-free hotline number that you can call to report your concerns. You can find your state’s toll-free number on the National Center on Elder Abuse Abuse’s web site, www.elderabusecenter.org.

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